It’s that time of year again. School is out, the sun is shining, the days are getting longer, and parents are trying to come up with ways to keep their kids entertained from breakfast to bedtime. Some of us solve this problem by enrolling them in summer camp or going on family vacations. Others give their children time to relax and allow a little more screen time. And then there are mothers like influencer Vidya Gopalan. They consider summer vacation to be the “best” time to develop new routines and habits.
Gopalan, also known as @queencitytrends on TikTok, is a parenting and lifestyle influencer with over 4.8 million followers. She recently posted a video on her page where she shared her “strict” summer parenting rules for her 14-year-old daughter Sahana and 11-year-old son Shaan. The video has garnered 12 million views, 1.4 million likes, and over 6,000 comments, with viewers deeply divided on whether this parenting approach creates structure and discipline or leaves no room for kids to enjoy summer vacation.
Ms. Gopalan began her video with a disclaimer, saying these are the rules that work for her. own family; she’s not saying everyone has to follow it. She explained that her goal is not only to teach children about structure, but also to prevent them from getting bored because, in her view, “boredom causes problems.”
Gopalan’s rule for the first summer is that the children must read a book of their own choice every day, but she doesn’t force a daily reading quota. Instead, she created a reward system to motivate kids.
“One minute of reading is equivalent to one minute of screen time,” Gopalan said. With this new incentive, she said, her children finished reading more than three books in just a week and a half.
The next “strict” summer rule requires her children to practice their math skills for 20 minutes every day, either at school, with Amazon math workbooks, or with programs like Kumon. Gopalan explains that math is a subject that many children struggle with, and with daily practice, children are less likely to struggle with it.
Her children are also expected to learn to spend time outdoors and excel in extracurricular activities. “They must spend at least two hours a day outdoors playing sports and exercising,” Gopalan said. “Both my kids are in sports camps, so that helps a lot. Being outside is really good for the brain…[and]become an expert in your passion. Shaan loves tennis and Sahana loves golf. Summer is the perfect time to hone those skills.”
Her kids probably love the last rule. Lights out is 11pm on weekdays and midnight on weekends. As long as your family doesn’t have a place for you, you can sleep as late as you want.
Gopalan explained that while this list of rules may seem excessive to some, her children never complain about being bored. Instead, their summer stays booked and busy. And while some parents online agree with Gopalan’s structured approach, many feel it robs their children of their childhood.
One user commented, “Is this harsh? I thought this was normal parenting.” Others also chimed in with their support.
- “I’m 15 and I wish my mom was like this too. I hate lazy AF.”
- “You’re setting kids up to be successful and get an education. People are angry because they didn’t have structure.”
- “I’m going to set this rule for my 30-year-old self.”
- “Thank you as an elementary school teacher.”
And then there were those who objected to this grueling summer schedule.
- “I don’t understand why you guys are so strict. Let kids be kids.”
- “I think summer should be a break from their already packed lives.”
- “So you don’t have time to enjoy your childhood?”
- “It’s summer, so let’s enjoy it. Anything else can wait three months.”
- “You’re just being harsh. Deal with it.”
Gopalan’s video touched on a hot topic for parents at a time when the ’90s summer curating trend is sweeping across Instagram feeds. How much structure do children really need? Is boredom the enemy, or is it a hidden gift of growth? After all, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to how to structure your summer with kids. Every mother is just trying to find what works for her, even if there are many opinions on the Internet.
