It’s summer, but life isn’t always easy for us mothers. School is closed, but there is definitely work available. do not havewhich means you’re dropping off your kids during a half-day at an expensive camp while trying to get home in time for a conference call. And since it’s the season for beach trips and theme park visits, you’re probably also in the middle of planning a vacation or just getting back from one. But any parent will tell you that a vacation with kids isn’t a vacation at all, it’s just normal parenting with more sandy beaches and palm trees. Now moms are flocking to Reddit to share the same sentiment…and how much they’re missing out on the opportunity to truly relax and recharge.
On r/Mommit, multiple users have posted about the challenges of vacationing with kids in the past 24 hours alone.
“I miss a real vacation,” one poster wrote. “If you’re a mom who’s ever taken a vacation before or after you had kids, you know what I’m talking about (lol). I miss real, relaxing, rejuvenating vacations, where I could lounge on the beach and have someone bring me drinks and food while I did nothing. I could sleep in, get out of bed whenever I wanted, and stay in bed all day if I wanted.”
This user, like many parents, makes the distinction: Instead of taking vacations, he says he’s “travelling,” or “going to beautiful destinations and doing the same things we do at home.” For context, she said she and her husband have one child, who is 2 1/2 years old.
Another Redditor with kids the same age also called their recent beach trip a “vacation from hell.”
“Nothing was relaxing or going according to plan. He was fighting and protesting everything,” they wrote. “So we thought, okay, let’s just relax on the beach and let our son decide what to do every now and then. He would choose something and then as soon as we started he would scream that he didn’t want to do it (lol). Now I realize that I was putting too much pressure on my 2-year-old by letting him make the decision. I feel like a bad parent.”
I often hear suggestions about taking grandparents on trips to spend some time away from the kids. But one mother shared an ‘aha’ moment with her family this summer. Traveling with my family has actually leveled my travels. more Her mother was stressed because she repeatedly reminded her that others were in much worse situations. Their recent vacation included a group of nine adults, two teens, and a rambunctious toddler.
“We’ve already taken a few family vacations this summer, and I feel like each one is super stressful. Yet, my mom basically tried to shut up that they had it much harder by reminding me that she used to do this with her four kids (her sister, brother-in-law, and their two kids),” she wrote. “The difference is that their ‘difficult’ vacation was an all-hands-on-deck effort. Everyone was in the same boat, so no one got to enjoy the vacation. It was one-on-one protection. This time, the majority are enjoying the vacation, occasionally taking care of a toddler while my husband and I fight for our lives.”
These comments reveal that almost all parents feel this way when their children are young, and share their best tips for getting through it.
- Vacationing with young children is a scam. Just doing the same thing elsewhere makes things even worse because the child is overstimulated and out of the routine. Their sleep schedules are disrupted and their eating habits are disrupted. Other than a few moments where they are happy and distracted, there isn’t much fun to be had. Day trips were so much more fun than going somewhere full-fledged for a few days. ”
- “When my kids were little, cruises that included kids clubs were a lifesaver. They loved going to the clubs and actually had time to relax.”
- “Do you have any friends who would like to go on a girls’ trip with you? Or just a quick solo trip. It doesn’t have to be far or long, just a night or two in a hotel by yourself!”
- “I highly recommend a nice tropical resort (Beach, Club Med, etc.) that has childcare services. It’s great to be able to leave the kids for a few hours while you exercise, nap, waterski, snorkel, etc. I wasn’t into resorts until I had kids, and once my kids are older I probably won’t go to resorts anymore, but when they were babies and toddlers, they were a great vacation saver.”
- “I really empathize with them. The holidays are for them (memories), and although it is definitely tiring for me, I have changed my mind that it is still worth it. One day we will have vacations back too!”
- “My husband and I take separate vacations for this very reason, and it’s worked out great for us. We take turns doing this while one of us is home with the kids and the other goes on a trip. It’s much cheaper and easier than going on vacation with the kids, and you actually come back rested.”
(Here scary momWe like the 30 on/30 off method. This method allows each parent to take over the child’s duty for 30-minute intervals while the other parent can read a book, sunbathe, or do something on their own. )
Parents of older children also promised posters that there was light at the end of the tunnel. I wrote, “Good luck! Vacations will be more fun when you get older. You’re doing a great job.”
Yes, even if you have older children, you’ll still need to pack everything and probably prepare for the plane and car entertainment. But once you arrive, they’ll probably enjoy it for a while. And you can start those few chapters of beach reading you’ve been wanting to read.
