There are many decisions to make before becoming a parent. Toys left in the yard, babies wearing nothing but diapers, chicken nuggets served for dinner at least once a week—but nothing humbles me more than the judgment I receive for mothers who look like survivors at school drop-off and pick-up. I thought about how difficult it would be to wear proper clothes. Is it really that hard to brush your teeth? Let’s be honest: How busy would you be to leave the house without a bra to take your kids to school?
Hahahahaha.
Moms on Reddit felt the same way. On the /Mommit subreddit, the original poster (OP) shared how much she loves seeing her mom walk in to pick her up from school looking absolutely miserable. But the kids always seem nice and clean.
“I love the devastated looks on all of our moms’ faces as we drop them off at school in the morning,” OP wrote. “I love taking my daughters to kindergarten and watching tired moms shuffle along with their daughters. The girls always have their hair beautifully up in perfect little pigtails and ribbons, and the moms smell like clouds of hairspray, combing the lumps in their ponytails and tying ribbons to loosen up their tired butts. Meanwhile, they’re all in their pajamas, with their messy buns hanging down on the sides of their heads. That’s exactly the situation.” Checking on your kids at 7 a.m. to make sure they’re looking and feeling great, even if they have spaghetti stains on your T-shirt, is a perfect representation of what motherhood is like. ”
Amen.
The comments were a mixture of solidarity and awe. A sense of solidarity for those who look and feel like zombies pushing their kids out of minivans in the drop-off lane, and awe for the parents who have to go to the office immediately after being dropped off at school and look like functioning human beings.
One commenter wrote, “If you can’t accommodate me at school pick-up, you don’t deserve to be at school pick-up .”
“When I have to put on a bra to send my daughter to daycare, I feel like I’ve already done so much,” another wrote.
“This is why I love the cold season. I wear everything except a long coat and suddenly I look 60% more fashionable,” added one mother.
(Honestly, that’s good advice and I’m sure Parker was created for this reason.)
I especially love moms talking about other moms who seem tidy when they show up to school. And those mothers seemed grateful for the praise.
“On the other hand, when I see a drop-off mom dressed professionally and acting like a queen, I respectfully give her a wide seat and stare in awe,” one mother wrote.
“I work hard to prepare myself and my daughter presently for work and school at the same time, so I can be on time, so I appreciate your respect,” one mother responded.
Another mom added, “Same thing. I wake up early just to take a shower and make myself look good before I give my kids a good look. My day starts with feeling organized.”
I haven’t taken my kids to school in their pajamas yet, but I’m sure I’ve done it a million times without a bra, in giant sweaters, in flip-flops, and without brushing my teeth. Please listen. Getting all the kids ready* and making themselves look presentable can sometimes be too much work. Especially if you drive into the parking lot to get to first grade and then close the door to get them out.
Unless you have to go indoors for unforeseen reasons, as one commenter shared. “My son’s school has a car line drop-off and I love it because I just get my coffee and don’t get out of the car, unless I have to take him for some reason. My son recently had a mental breakdown in the car over the breakfast burrito I made for him, which he always loves. But now, for some reason, I hate it. My son wouldn’t get out of the car, so I had to take him to school, no bra, and he looked like an insane person. Then my toddler started screaming. My son ate the muffin, and she wanted it too,” the mother wrote. “I love when I get home from a drop-off and pick-up, even though it’s only 8:30, I feel like I’ve lived another day.”
May we have more praise for the mothers who wear actual pants to drop-off and pick-up, and more solidarity with the crying children with syrup in their hair. After all, we’re all just trying to arrive at 9 a.m.
