Goldie Hawn is one of those rare celebrities who is just as warm and kind as you might imagine. I feel like she’s like everyone’s mom. But what’s just as fascinating to Horne is how deeply knowledgeable and passionate she is about children’s well-being.
In between filming, raising her own children, spending time with her grandchildren, and being one half of Hollywood’s most beloved couple, Hawn has dedicated her time and energy to children’s mental health for more than 20 years through MindUP, an evidence-based program she founded to help children better understand their emotions.
Now she is passing on the same ideas to our children. After School Kindness Crew: Wandering Poochesa series of humorous and heartfelt middle-grade books co-authored with Lynn Oliver. This story follows a group of fourth graders as they approach everyday challenges with kindness, curiosity, and mindfulness. There are “brain breaks” woven throughout the book to allow children to pause and reset with the characters.
When Scary Mommy spoke to Horne, she discussed emotional resilience not as a trendy parenting buzzword, but as something deeply human: something that children need and deserve as much as food, sleep, and love. As the conversation moved off the page, she talked about raising empathetic children, why parents need “brain breaks,” too, and her hope that the next generation can experience more freedom, more connection, and more joy than our increasingly anxious world often allows.
In other words, more opportunities to just be kids.
Scary Mommy: This book emphasizes kindness and curiosity as elements of empathy. Why is it so important?
GH: That’s right. That’s really true. And empathy can be taught because the brain is plastic and we actually learn through experience and have empathy. I think some kids are more naturally gifted than others in terms of empathy…I have a grandson who is very empathetic, and he’s still young – he’s 5 years old. Then there are kids who don’t seem to have it, but you can Please develop it.
I think a lot of it has to do with how we raise our children. Because I know how to raise my grandchildren. They all have empathy. It has to do with how we parent and how we show kindness to them, and they need to feel it. Therefore, it is important for parents to know that. What you give to your child actually comes back to you.
SM: Oh, definitely. That’s like the number one rule I give my kids. “Be kind to others.”
GH: Yes, yes, yes… I would be very strong if the kids were unkind. Mistakes, accidents, experiments, all this did not bother me. We just learned from them. But it’s different if you’re unkind to someone or don’t look them in the eye when you greet them. This is us, so there’s a lot to dig into. We are humans and need to connect with other people in a positive way.
SM: How does that translate in the book?
GH: The stories and experiences that kids will have when they read this book are really, really healthy. I mean, Lyle the bully, he’s just one of those kids who has so little feelings in his heart that you feel kind of bad for them, and that was Lyle. But there was a moment at the end where Lyle actually broke down a little and asked for help with something. They had a little group conversation together and just said, “Right? Let’s give it a try.”
They didn’t say I would forgive…but I did. And it shows, not tells, how the book goes. No one preaches anything, but their experiences will be felt and learned by our children. It’s okay to help someone, even if they’re not very kind.
SM: What role will you play? self-kindness Do you want to play here? This is because many children are hard on themselves.
GH: Well, I’ve become very intentional about being kind to myself. That awareness is what we want our children to experience, and that’s what I do with my MindUP program. It’s the idea of self-care and forgiving yourself…we want our children to forgive themselves. And then we explain to the brain what’s happening so that it understands that what’s happening is that the brain is deciding to remove all these connections that it used to have. It’s a really interesting time.
Sometimes we do things, slam doors, get angry, and have emotional ups and downs. That’s what it is. But I want them to forgive themselves, and you say, “I want them to forgive themselves. Understand where you are and be a witness to where you are — It’s called metacognition because our human brains have that ability. observe yourself. And I think we should be kind and supportive to small children. That’s the only way you’ll learn.
SM: You have worked closely with neuroscientists, psychologists, and educators. Is there anything you wish parents knew more about children’s brain and emotional development?
GH: I think parents first need to understand the impact on their children. When there are children, there is no manual, but parents have to manage themselves, which is difficult. Children test you, but how do you manage your own reactivity?Reactive parents can do great damage to their children because they scare them.
We want to enlighten children, not scare them. But parents need to understand how they can calm their brains. Of course, every book we’ve ever published includes ways to give your brain a break. Because it’s important for kids to learn how. It actually reduces stress and reduces reactivity in the emotional brain’s amygdala. That is the central brain. It’s a very primitive part of the brain, but it’s there to save us.
But they also don’t understand that sometimes we feel impatient, angry, and frustrated. There are so many things that can end up hijacking your higher order thinking, and you can’t solve problems unless your executive functions are online. When you’re angry, upset, frustrated, tired, or otherwise focused, you can’t use your brain to decide how you should be.
SM: I love this idea of a “brain break.”
GH: I remember being tired when my kids were little. It was the peak of my career. Literally, before entering the house, I would stop and take what I call a brain break. I always call it a brain break. That’s not meditation. In fact, when you breathe with concentration (this is what we call conscious breathing), your brain changes, and that’s just a physiological phenomenon.
What you want is to quiet your mind, breathe very slowly, and become very calm. Then get ready to go home, be a mom, and be close to your kids. I did it because I was tired, but I still had to stop, take some time to myself, and regroup myself.
SM: I often hear from mothers that they sit in the car and say goodbye right before they get in the car.
GH: Yes, that’s right. Stay close to them. Because when they see you, it’s like the day starts all over again. They look forward to you coming home…so happy. Therefore, you need to be attuned to their well-being, which is difficult to do when you are tired. But you really can reset your brain. It’s that simple. That’s just intentional.
SM: If you were to start your own “Kindness Crew,” who would join?
GH: Yes. a lot How many people need to understand how being kind can bring you great happiness. When you give something to someone, your brain reacts in the same way as when you receive a gift. That’s very interesting. It’s a mirror neuron. When you see someone happy, you have the same reaction. So it’s a two-way street, and kindness can actually help both of you feel better.
SM: What will actually happen?
GH: I remember one time when I was walking around my neighborhood for exercise, I saw an elderly woman walking with a walker. I could see that she was really working. And I just felt this overwhelming emotion. I didn’t know her. I just wanted to hug her. I just wanted to go there and hug her and tell her how proud I am and that I know how hard she’s working. And I did. She looked up at me and said, “Oh, thank you.” I said, “I don’t go around hugging everyone.” But my point is, I followed my instincts and I felt so much better afterwards, and so did she.
Kindness is very reciprocal, but I don’t think enough people actually experience it. So who will join my club? That’s a huge thing because not only do you want to be on the same page, but you want people to experience kindness. It’s a different kind of club. It’s the experience of doing it.
SM: Yes. After your previous work in this field, what do you hope for this next generation?
GH: I hope that children can become more self-actualized. I hope that we can actually open their hearts to more curiosity and allow them to invite more people into their lives. do not be afraid. We all know that community and connection are so important, and I want that too.
Of course, there are also problems with the Internet. There is a problem when it comes to social media. We have children who are seriously dealing with anxiety, fear, stress, and mental health. We really want to have this feeling that the world is safer, that their world feels safe, and that all children should be free to go outside and play and be children.
This is where we are today. And no matter what the obstacles are…I think we have to go to a kinder world. Because if we don’t see our children as tomorrow’s future, we’re not doing what we’re supposed to be doing. As far as I’m concerned, they’re number one.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
