One of the questions all parents have when it comes to their first (and/or only) child is whether it’s okay to officially leave them at home alone. For us millennials who were latchkey kids, that can be especially difficult. One afternoon when I was in fourth grade, I got home from the bus and had to make sure the chicken was thawed in the freezer. But seriously, is there a right or wrong answer? Isn’t there always some anxiety when you leave your child home alone for the first time?
One parent asked Reddit’s parenting community specifically about their 15-year-old son and whether it was okay to leave him home alone all weekend. The original poster (OP) wrote that he left the house he lived in 15 years ago for a few hours and nothing was wrong. But now OP and his wife are planning a summer anniversary trip where they’ll spend Friday night through Sunday afternoon alone in their 15-year-old house. Also, the places they go are about 3-4 hours away.
“We have an only child who just turned 15 and finished his freshman year of high school,” OP wrote. “We have two options: 1. Leave her with her parents and her best friend, who I’ve known since kindergarten. 2. Leave her home alone with our two dogs while we’re gone.”
OP said their child is “very responsible” and lives in a boring neighborhood where there is no reason to feel unsafe. “She is certified in CPR and says she can manage to be alone while we are gone. I have previously spent late nights (5-6 hours) alone at her house, but she ends up watching TV or reading a book all night.”
But does that mean she’s ready to spend the weekend alone?
My immediate gut reaction was to send her to her best friend’s house. Just because a child is competent and responsible does not mean that they are want capable or responsible. What if they get scared? What if they get anxious at night? What do you do if you feel uncomfortable waking up alone at home in the morning? This feels a little different to me than being home alone one night, or alone with my siblings on the weekend.
As with any parenting decision, no decision is perfect. And Reddit commenters gave the OP some things to think about. Mainly, what do your children think?
“So she’s old enough to ask questions and talk,” one person wrote.
“Did you say she’s okay to be on her own? She’s certainly old enough. Is there an adult she can call nearby if she needs anything?” another person asked.
“For me, it’s about how comfortable your daughter is at home alone. At her age, I would have been perfectly fine, but every child is different,” another child noted.
Many of the other comments were split between Reddit users who shared that being home alone at that age was perfectly fine, and users who said being home alone all weekend at 15 would be a surprise, no matter how much you thought you could handle it.
“My teenage daughter is responsible enough to do something like this. But at least with her, I know from past experience that if she’s left home alone for too long, she starts to get lonely. I remember when she gets homesick, but it’s the other way around, because she’s home and there’s no one else,” one commenter wrote.
“Around this age, my parents started leaving me alone on the weekends, and while I’m mature and responsible and could handle it, I wasn’t prepared for how freaked out I was trying to sleep in an empty, dark house (we also had two dogs, which helped, but I still got very little sleep),” another added.
And one comment hit the nail on the head. “How can anyone on Reddit answer this without knowing anything about you or your kids?”
In other words. impartial.
The important thing is that every child is completely different. The comments section of this post is proof of that. Many parents shared how much their children loved being home alone on the weekends, while others said their children were never okay with that. Even if the teenager in the OP were to say, “Yeah, I want to be home alone!” If you find out at midnight on a Friday that she wants to sleep at home with another human being for the weekend, it’s worth using your best friend’s parents as backup.
It’s also worth noting, as one commenter pointed out, that each state has different laws regarding leaving children home alone. The last thing you want to do is be accused of child neglect just because your 15-year-old child was home alone over the weekend.
In this situation, I don’t think it’s easy to decide if a 15 year old is ready to be home alone all weekend… your The child is ready to be home alone all weekend.
