I love nostalgic baby names. From little old man/woman names (William! Millicent! Oliver!) to names that reference favorite childhood storybook characters (I can’t express enough respect for those who named their children after the Pevensie brothers). The Chronicles of Narnia), there’s something about a name steeped in tradition and filled with the faint golden glow of a simpler time gone by.
As it turns out, there are limits. Specifically, when I started thinking about naming my baby after the parade of women featured in Lou Vega’s 1999 mega-hit “Mambo #5.”
Redditor u/newbiesk8r (hereafter we’ll refer to her as Newbie) recently posted her woes on the popular subreddit Name Nerds with the ominous headline, “Help, my wife thought I was joking.” Newby is seven months pregnant, but she and her wife often joke that they gave their child a funny name.
“As soon as she got pregnant, she started joking about how when she was a kid, when Lou Vega’s ‘Mambo #5’ was on the radio, she always felt left out because there were no women’s names in the song,” she says. “Again, I thought this was a joke.”
But two months after her due date, it became clear that Newby’s wife was serious. She wants to name her child Angela, Sandra, Pamela, Rita, Monica, Erica, Tina, Mary, or Jessica.
“I tried to convince her,” Newby laments. “Why would she want to name our baby after a song that women like, pick up on, and sexualize? My other big point is, we don’t even listen to the radio? Even if we did, 2 What are the chances of that song being played on the radio in 2025? And I hope our baby has enough love in his life that his name isn’t in the song and it’s not something he carries with him forever?!”
I don’t know if this post is real or not. At least this is what I have to tell myself in order to be able to sleep at night. But if you’re going to do something stupid, there’s no reason not to go. genuine Not a fan of nostalgic, millennial music-inspired baby names?
Delilah
Question: Do you think there’s a Delilah born after 2005 who hasn’t had “Hey There Delilah” sung multiple times a month? Do they find this annoying? Almost certainly. But it’s still beautiful. Just put their name on a plain white T-shirt and you’re ready to go.
clint eastwood
It’s a perfect name when you’re happy. It’s like having sunlight inside your bag. Of course, with this name you run the risk of thinking you’re just a big Western fan, so give this baby the middle name “Gorillaz” to make your inspiration even clearer. Clint Eastwood G. Last name. It has a nice ring!
slim shady
Although traditionally a boy’s name, I think this works well as a gender-neutral option. Of course, given the song’s popularity in 2000, it’s natural to worry that it’s going to explode in popularity. Chances are your child is one of several Slim Shadys in their kindergarten class. Then there’s the question of who the real Slim Shady is…
infamous
Yes, your child can be called Notorious with their friends, but I know what you’re thinking: That’s not Infamous proper name. clearly. It’s notoriously BIG. So if it’s a boy, it’ll be the infamous Brian Ian Gregory, and if it’s a girl, it’ll be the infamous Brenda Ingrid Gertrude. It’s a mouthful, but differentiated.
jenny
A perfect name for a little girl who knows where she comes from, no matter where she goes or what stones she carries.
Mr. Brightside
You see, we are just like you. If you give your baby this name, there’s a good chance they’ll be born with panda-like eyeliner and straight-iron bangs that span the entire forehead. Frankly, we consider this a plus, but if you don’t think you’re equipped to raise an emo baby, beware…
muhampus
Just because you love Fergie doesn’t mean naming your baby “My Humps” (oh! “Fergie”! That’s a great option too). That would be ridiculous. But if you have a little creatif in your spelling, you can pay perfect homage to a lovely lady’s lump with your baby’s name.
OK, but seriously, newbie, please talk sense to your wife. Because this is irrational.
