If there’s one thing every parent deserves, it’s to take at least 30 minutes to themselves at some point during the day. And let’s be honest, you don’t even need that 30 minutes to relax, detach, or stare into the abyss until you feel better. Most of us have already folded our clothes with the laundry room door closed, or just want to hole up in the garage to work out undisturbed.
But one dad on Instagram suggests that when it comes to parenting, it might be best to leave the door open while you have time.
(If you’re already thinking, “Oh, just leave the door open and everyone will come in, same thing,” then listen to him.)
Mitchell Davis, who holds a PhD in exercise science, shared a video on his Instagram account @coach_mdavis of himself preparing for a workout in his garage with the door to his house wide open. A few seconds later, his young son wanders into the room and asks, “Dad, are you still going to work out?” Davis said yes, and his son will likely stay home while he does his actual training. The text overlay reads, “Leave the door open,” which is quite a harsh command for an overstimulated and exhausted parent to read, but the caption explains:
“When my son shows up unexpectedly, he doesn’t come to train. He doesn’t care about the reps or the sets or the weight of the bar. He comes because I’m here. He comes because the noise of training makes him feel alive and moving, and he wants to share that life. The invitation isn’t about lifting; it’s about presence. It’s about knowing that he can step into my world at any time and that he’ll be fully welcomed instead of being chased away,” he writes.
Guts punch.
Davis goes on to explain in the caption that being a parent means making sacrifices and carving out a very limited amount of time for yourself, but constantly closing yourself off when you need to recharge can block you from seeing the beautiful magic that’s right in front of you.
Honestly, it might sound like, “You only have one small child, never close the door,” and I get it. I’ve noticed that when I’m doing something, whether it’s work, exercise, or just trying to find a little peace, my kids focus more on what I’m doing if I always close the door. It feels like a big secret to them and they suddenly want to be involved. I feel like it would be more of a nuisance than leaving the door open for me to see.
Plus, there’s the nice bonus that your kids can see you you. When they see you lifting weights, running on the treadmill, or resting together on the couch, they might join in, ask you questions that make your heart swell with pride, or ask if they can be as strong as you someday.
And maybe they’ll realize that this “open door” policy isn’t just a literal policy – they’ll know that no matter what you’re doing, if they need you, you’re there for them.
“So I tell myself,” Davis writes, “leave the door open, not just literally but figuratively. For the interruptions. For the laughter that breaks your concentration. For the seemingly silly questions and ramblings. For the unplanned moments that are etched in your memory.” He says he wants his children to always remember that their father’s door is always open. It’s honestly the nicest gift.
I must say that there is nothing wrong with closing the door and giving yourself some peace, stability and quiet. When you need to focus, when you need to decompress, when you’re blowing smoke, yes, close the door.
However, if you feel like you’ll be disturbed if you don’t close the door, leave it open and see what happens. My own kids’ interruptions have allowed me to have some great conversations and moments with them, but I can honestly say I’ve never once thought, “Oh, I wish I could have skipped that and completed a full rep instead.”
Besides…they’re probably going to open the door anyway.
