Housework is a part of parenting that varies from family to family, and from child to child. In my own house with 3 kids, some months I really see the kids doing their own chores each day (age-appropriate, of course) and marking them on their calendars, but other months I get really lazy and suddenly forget that they’re supposed to help me unload the dishwasher or put away the clothes.
But I think every child should have some responsibility within the family. All children need to understand that they have to work as a team in their homes and families, and that picking up their own toys and starting the dishwasher are all part of that teamwork.
One parent on Reddit feels the same way, saying her almost 9-year-old child does several chores each week to earn some extra money. These include picking up dog poop in the yard, unloading the dishwasher, keeping the room clean, and bringing in the trash can. In my opinion, they are all age-appropriate and fairly easy chores.
However, the original poster (OP) said that according to her child, she is the only one in the whole school doing chores. Not only one third year student, child.
“She says she’s the only child in the entire school (400+ kids) who does chores. I don’t think her data is that complete, *but* when I talk to other parents about chores, they always say something like, ‘Oh, I think we should let the kids do chores,'” the OP writes. “For the sake of humanity, please restore my belief that at least some children have chores. She gets a new one every year for her birthday (out of a ton of presents, actually, not weird), but honestly, what’s the point?”
Oh my god.
I’m trying to play the “rational voice woman” here and think that the parents who say, “Oh, I guess I should let my kids do the housework,” are probably a lot like me. And when your child turns 8, 9, 10 years old, you realize that you need to start becoming more responsible. From there, it’s a slower approach, like, “Hey, I’m going to show you how to unload the dishwasher,” or “Let’s spend Sunday morning cleaning the room,” rather than having the entire chore chart shoved into the kitchen the moment they enter kindergarten.
Just because your child is the only one doing weekly chores doesn’t mean you’re the only one responsible for teaching them. The choice is different for everyone.
But overall, Reddit understood the mission and reminded OP that they are never alone.
“When I was a kid, I always said things like this to convince my parents. It’s good to hold her accountable. She’ll be a hard worker even if she has fewer rights. Don’t compare yourself to other family members unless there’s something wrong with you!” one commenter wrote.
“My kids do their first chores around 2-3 o’clock. They pick up their toys, they match their socks. I think chores are completely normal,” added another parent.
It’s also helpful to remember that what one family calls chores may not be viewed as such by another family. My kids also have responsibilities, but I don’t know if they’ve ever actually used the word “chores” to describe them. It’s more like, “Who feeds the dog?” “Time to put away your clothes!” to give them something to do.
One commenter wrote, “I don’t even consider housework to be a chore. Helping is part of the family and starts as soon as a child can walk.”
“My kids help a lot around the house every day, but we don’t call it ‘housework,'” one added. Also, no allowance will be paid. Everyone is simply expected to help maintain the home. ”
And my favorite: “We use the word ‘responsibility’ instead of chores. It helped my son understand this concept, instead of ‘I have chores to do and my friends don’t.'”
Most of all, having your kids help you clean the house, do the laundry, tend the garden, etc. will help you become an adult who won’t be completely blindsided by your first dirty bathroom in college. The point is not to give them “chores.” Because they are children who need to learn how to be responsible. The key is to raise a fully functioning human being who knows the basics of looking after a home, taking care of themselves, and maintaining good hygiene.
“My kids say the same thing, and I always say the same thing to them: ‘I didn’t have chores growing up, and that left me completely unprepared for living on my own. I won’t do you the same injustice.’ In the end, they’ll be grateful that I taught them to contribute early on,” one Redditor wrote.
“I don’t want my children to become ‘adults’ who don’t know how to clean a bathroom, cook, do laundry, or ‘keep themselves alive by maintaining basic hygiene of the space around them,'” one added. “My kids do housework. They’re 7, 5, and 3. And it’s not ‘helping mom’ either. It’s ‘we all work together to keep the house clean.'”
“That’s right. My husband was never made to do chores or anything, and he didn’t know how to cook or clean. To this day, he still asks me how to clean certain things and often Googles them. It’s frustrating. You’re doing something right, OP,” another wrote.
Whether you have a big fancy chore chart with stickers and specific responsibilities, or just yelling, “Someone come take care of the groceries,” they can do just fine as long as they know the basics of managing themselves and their space.
Even if it were of course They are the only seventh graders who fold laundry.
