I never thought a Wetzel Pretzel would make me cry. But on Friday night, the smell of melted butter on warm bread hit me like a memory, and I found myself texting a childhood friend. Oh my gosh, I’m at the mall with my kids and their friends and I keep having flashbacks of you and me wandering around here for hours when we were their age.
A few weeks ago, my 12-year-old and 7-year-old told me they just wanted to invite each other’s friends over for their birthday and go shopping at an indoor shopping center about 20 minutes from our house. I promised them $30 per person, dinner in the food court, and a few hours exploring a real live mall. I found it horrifying, something they had never done before.
I grew up in shopping malls, and you probably do too. Walking into it that night felt like stepping into my childhood home. Everything was exactly as I left it: the greasy food court below, the gaudy store windows, and the eclectic mix of people. Suddenly, I felt extremely lonely.
I’m not sure we would have gotten a better deal if we traded an in-person experience for e-commerce.
This mall gave us our first independent experience.
When I turned 11 or 12, I started spending my babysitting money at the mall. My friend and I promised to meet the mother at a specified location by a specified time and set off. Just her and I for an hour or two. It’s a rite of passage and we loved that it made us feel like adults. There are no cell phones. No smartwatch. Half the time we didn’t have a watch.
We relied on intuition, strangers, and the occasional salesperson to keep track of time. Sometimes I got lost or was late, forcing me to problem solve and practice street smarts.
At the mall, I also learned to read maps, ask for directions, and look for sale items to make more money. Calculating 10-40% discounts and sales tax is essential for any preteen girl on a budget, and I was proud of my decimal point superpowers.
the mall was ours Entertainment.
When I was little, my parents sold my mother’s car to make a down payment on their first home. Living in cities with poor public transportation, we suddenly found ourselves traveling home more often. But every Wednesday morning, my friend’s mother would pick us up and take us to the mall. We bought kids meals at McDonald’s, and while the mothers chatted, we kids ran up and down the blue carpeted ramp in the food court.
We looked around at The Gap and other stores, and bought day-old cookies at a bakery on the way home. I’ve been looking forward to Wednesday all week.
As I grew up, I continued to enjoy the mall. As a teenager, this was the place I went to buy prom dresses, perfume, and cute underwear. Later, it was here that I first looked for my “big girl work” wardrobe.
In-person shopping is a sensory experience.
Online, a picture is not worth a thousand words when Photoshop and models make everything look perfect.
In-person shopping offers a richer sensory experience. Pass the dough through your fingers. soft? itch? Cheap and thin, or luxurious and soft? Please try it on. How do you sit on your hips? Which color compliments your skin tone?
Returning to the mall, I fell in love with brands that strive to make quality clothing, but felt disillusioned with some of my old favorites that looked cheap in person. I’ve noticed that even if I add something to my cart online, I never actually select it. And vice versa.
But some mall experiences aren’t quite as nifty…
A fitting room with fluorescent lights? Brutal. I remember sitting in the fitting room, a wave of anxiety washing over me, wincing at the sight of acne scars, cellulite, and splatter marks. It was the worst. At 37 years old and with three kids, I still don’t worry about cellulite, but I do prefer to avoid harshly lit fitting rooms.
Then there was also the way certain stores like Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister made you feel. When you enter the room, you are greeted with a burst of intense musky, woody perfume. It’s music with a club atmosphere. Half-naked models were pasted on the walls. It was all about making us chase this impossible-to-cool brand, and it worked.
I walked through those stores feeling acutely aware of everything I thought was wrong about my body, my clothes, and my place in the social hierarchy. Most of the time, I went away believing that another graphic t-shirt would solve everything.
But this is how shopping malls work. You have to face your insecurities head on. After all, your boobs looked amazing in that 20% off T-shirt, right?
Shopping malls had such power over us.
I want to take my kids there.
I don’t remember exactly when shopping malls stopped being a part of my life. Thirteen years ago, I think it was around the time I gave birth to my first child, that I discovered how easy online shopping was. You don’t have to load your child in and out of the car to do so. Just click and you’re done.
I know I don’t shop at the mall as often as I used to anymore, but I like to take my kids a few times a year and let them experience the ups and downs of in-person shopping like I did when I was younger.
The world may force us online, but the rebel inside us all should fight back. After all, the mall raised us.
