For new parents, finding the perfect name for their baby can be difficult. For others, it’s easy. Certain names simply come to them, as if by divine inspiration. When my husband first suggested the name that eventually became our daughter’s name, I said, I knew それがそれだった。 Redditor u/PollutionWild4637 (we’ll call her Wild) had a similar experience when she found out she was pregnant, but as with many parenting-related issues, things got complicated when others weighed in…
Wilde and her husband are excited. They had known for months that if their child was a girl, they wanted to name her Olivia, or Leah for short.
So when she found out that she was traveling to the country where her father and stepmother lived, she excitedly told them the good news.
“They were both so happy to hear our news and over the past few days we have been talking about all our plans for the future when the baby is born,” she wrote. “On the last night of the trip, my stepmom told me that she had heard my husband and I discussing names for the baby a few months ago, and that since Leah was her middle name, she didn’t want us to use that name because she felt uncomfortable naming the baby ‘her’.”
“I was surprised by this request and asked her to explain a little more, and she just reiterated that the name is hers, her family uses it, it’s a special name, and that she can’t call the baby by that name if we choose that name,” Wilde recalled.
Needless to say, Wilde and her husband don’t know the sex of their baby yet, but she was “devastated” by the drama. She noted that her stepmother had lived with her father for 10 years since Wilde graduated from high school, and that neither her stepmother nor her father called her “Leah.”
“Honestly, it wasn’t until a few weeks after we decided on the name that I realized it was also my stepmother’s middle name. I thought it was just a coincidence,” she says.
Wilde says she plans to refuse her stepmother’s request. Despite this, “Lia” feels a little dirty.
“I feel like the name choice ruined it for us either way,” she laments. “If we don’t use it to please her, I might resent the concession. If we do use it, I might feel that my stepmother will take it personally.”
And she told her fellow Redditors: “What if AITA told me that I appreciate her honesty, but that she can’t promise not to use the name she’s been choosing for a while?”
As far as I’m concerned, this is definitely “NTA” (not The Assh*le), but the reaction in the comments was pretty mixed.
“Nobody owns the name,” someone likes to say. “NTA”
“NAH” (No Assh*les Here) indicates a more measured response. “No one owns the name, and it’s certainly your right to name your child whatever you want. But with over 100,000 names to choose from, you seem to have settled on a name that…potentially causes a great deal of bad feeling. Are you going to deal with conflict because you’re so attached to that name?”
Some of them firmly advocated the position of “YTA” (You are Ash Ru).
“So let me get this straight: your stepmother is called ‘Leah’ by all your close family members and you decided to name your daughter Leah without consulting her,” one commenter suggested. “Now you’re ‘devastated’ that she ‘requested’ – your words, not mine – that you don’t use that name. That’s the name her whole family calls her and you find it weird that she asked you not to use it??? And you’ve known her for 10 years?”
Others were simply baffled by Wilde’s use of nicknames when he only named his children. Even more people couldn’t get over the idea that “Leah” would become a nickname for “Olivia.”
Some suggested that Wilde’s father and stepmother also call her “Olivia” to avoid any bitterness or confusion.
個人的に: チーム NTA です。 Some of my friends and family call me “James,” and I’m not going to stop them from naming their children that name. Some may see this as a conflict, but I see it as a great opportunity for connection.
