At what age do children have the most fun? This argument has probably raged since time immemorial among parents who have grown up with teenagers despite a stumbling childhood, or who have found themselves struggling to discipline stubborn teenagers when they feel most at home with a baby in one arm. On r/Mommit, user SecretBabyBump posted about a trip she took with her 9-year-old son, asking other users if this is really the best age ever, or if he could be better.
“For his birthday, I took him on a special weekend trip just him and I. We drove five hours to a small resort town with a great theater where he saw his first Shakespeare play. We talked the whole time. The whole car ride! We listened to some history podcasts and talked about it and talked about what we talked about. We looked into the podcast more about the content and talked about it more. We talked about God, His nature, and what we think happens when we die (!?!?) He brought it up mostly just like I asked clarifying questions, but we didn’t really have any intention of talking about anything important in the car on the way out of town.”
She went on to say that they watched their plays and had fancy dinners together, where her son chatted with the waitresses and was invaluable. “Since when did he become a little man? Is this it? Is it all downhill from here? Because there’s no way it’s going to get better,” she wrote. “Moms with little babies…it’s worth it. There were definitely days when he was 3 when I legitimately worried that I was raising a psychopath. That was not the case. It’s okay.”
The merits of the newborn period and those two awful periods are hotly debated, but all the comments on this post suggest that ages 8 to 10 are actually the sweet spot for most children.
“This is one of the best. About 8 to 11 is really fun. And 12 to 14 is a challenge. But 14 to 18 is pretty awesome, and adult kids are the best,” reads the top comment. One commenter, a teacher and mother, said, “It just keeps getting better and better… it keeps getting better and better. Enjoy every second. These little people are the most amazing thing ever and as long as I listen, memories like this will last forever.”
Another commenter chalked it up to how great it is that a 9-year-old is at the perfect stage of development. “They know a little patience and empathy. They understand cause and effect, which means consequences!!! My 10-year-old son knows a good joke and appreciates the funny moments when it happens. He listens and still wants to hang out with us. He has no sharp edges or resentment. He doesn’t try to look pretentious or be cool. He just gets things figured out and is fun to be around.”
Other mothers point out that 9-year-olds, in fact, still have their childhood legs firmly in place and aren’t embarrassed to hold hands in a line of cars or get a kiss from their mom. They want to be with their parents first and foremost. Their conversations and questions are really interesting, and when you can share interests like Shakespeare plays or fancy dinners, the real fun begins.
Every mother is unique. We each have our own preferences, baggage, and nervous systems that thrive under different circumstances. While some of us may be nostalgic for the hazy days of our newborn days, others tremble when we remember them. Some moms love their squishy, bull-headed infants, while others want to give birth 10 times instead of skipping the 2 and 3 year olds. But for us parents of young children, it’s comforting to know that there’s a pretty universal light at the end of the tunnel when all the love we pour into our kids is rewarded. And it seems to happen around the age of nine.
