The moment you notice her pink shoulders and cheeks that are a little too rosy. And soon an internal spiral begins. Wait, did you apply sunscreen too? Did you get into the water too soon after wearing them? And you realize it. Damn. I did put on sunscreen, but that was 5 hours ago. Time flies when you’re having fun…and apparently when your kids are toasty too!
As we all know, success in summer motherhood is measured in how often you reapply SPF, and it’s obvious to anyone with working eyes that you can’t keep doing that.
But being a mom who wears sunscreen isn’t easy. Even if it doesn’t look like it, sometimes the sun shines, so it’s trickier than you think. And what about applying it? Fasten the buckle. Because one kid likes the spray, another likes the stick, and the last one thinks they all smell weird, getting all the kids lathered up with the right protection can be as simple as chasing a herd of wild animals and dressing them in scuba gear.
But it’s okay, we tell ourselves. It lasts a while. Problem: It doesn’t last long.
Want to know some things that can ruin a good sunscreen application? Swimming, sandy beaches, sweating, and rubbing your body with towels. Basically, everything a child does after applying sunscreen is the same.
Therefore, you will need to apply again. You also need to run this on a fairly tight schedule, without too much time between applications. But as we all know, fun summer days can get a little confusing and time can get lost. Even if you set your alarm, reapplying sunscreen in public is an Olympic-level parenting event.
Inevitably, there will come a moment when you realize that your efforts have failed. You can see the line when it’s bath time or when you change from your swimsuit to pajamas. Once there’s a clear line separating pale white from fire-engine red, your guilt begins to spiral. Tomorrow, when your child returns to public life at the pool or camp drop-off, you may wonder if you will be judged.
And… so will you. Cherry red cheeks are like a scarlet letter sewn on your cute new tank top for all to see. But before we go completely into a vicious cycle, let me offer a little perspective as a mother of four who has been doing this job for a bit.
We’ve all been there.
To be clear, this is not a hall pass for chucking SPF. Of course, we all still team up with sunscreen, so you have to be very careful with the actual burn. This is about grace for the days you tried and lost. Every mother has experienced a tanning moment at least once. If not, you’ve probably experienced an obviously embarrassing moment where all your shortcomings as a mother are revealed to the world.
And you know what? It’s really okay. Or maybe it will be anyway. You can be a good parent, an active parent, a great parent, and still have your shoulders slumped. Being Mom of the Year can make you lose track of time. Grab some aloe vera and move on. A tan isn’t a badge of honor (of course), but a massive guilt spiral doesn’t have to be the price of admission to a full, chaotic, joy-filled summer.
Because if having fun in the sun with your kids makes your shoulders sag every once in a while or your cheeks turn pink, just call me #badmom all you want. In the meantime, I’ll come here and reapply.
step She is a former lawyer and a mother of four who is often abusive. Find her on Instagram @sammbdavidson.
