Ask Scary Mommy is a weekly advice column where Scary Mommy editors and guest editors (fellow moms just like you) answer your burning questions. You can send all your parenting, family, and relationship questions and conundrums to: askcarymommy@bdg.com (Don’t worry – you’ll remain anonymous!).
This week, across Scary Mommy, we discuss what helicopter parenting is, how it has influenced our culture, and how we should approach helicopter parenting in our own parenting. Now let’s look at it from a slightly different angle: What if it doesn’t? you Who is doing the helicopter?
Let’s get into the questions.
Dear Scary Mama
My daughter’s grandparents love her, but they won’t take her outside. That’s absolutely true. No walks, no parks, nothing. They’re in full fortress mode because they’re afraid something will happen to their watch. I tell them I don’t blame them if something goes wrong because I trust them, but they’re still stiff. Do you have any advice for getting them to relax before they lose their entire summer?
— Help Grandparents on Helicopter
Please help grandma and grandpa in the helicopter.
One of the difficult aspects of parenting is that you can’t parent your kids 24/7. Sometimes you need the help of others. It means that your child will be cared for by someone else who has different ideas about parenting.
Some caregivers, such as babysitters and nannies, paid No friend or family member can take care of your child in a certain way. That means it’s very difficult to criticize or suggest changes to their care, which they supposedly provide for free.
I think the most important thing to understand about this situation is why They give off helicopter parenting vibes and keep kids indoors.
Maybe they care about her so much that they’re afraid of something happening to her.
They may be afraid of the consequences. you If something goes wrong, like if you lose her for a few minutes or get a minor injury on the playground.
Or maybe you don’t have the confidence to take on the task yourself. Perhaps due to age, your movements have slowed down, your hearing has deteriorated, or you can’t see as well as you used to.
Finally, it may just be that you’ve been a parent for so long that you’re losing confidence in your ability to do the job.
There are various possible solutions depending on the problem.
We also asked our readers for advice. As usual, there were several different camps. One camp thought you should be left well enough alone and be grateful that the grandparents were ready and watching your child at least a little.
Why do I make my child nervous or uncomfortable when looking at my baby?
Let them do what they are comfortable with.
They may better coordinate their physical strength and abilities to keep an eye on her safely.
Be honest, if you don’t feel comfortable going out alone with your girlfriend, don’t force it.
Please give them grace. In my case, I can’t move around easily and I’m worried about whether I can keep up.
But another camp suggested the idea that perhaps if you helped them along the way (literally), you could slowly get them used to the idea of taking them out.
Take her outside with you or your grandparents. Let them see how you handle the situation.
Choose easy activities like chalk or picnicking to build up your tolerance at first.
When you’re together, do something outdoors.
Help us make our backyard safe and fun.
Start by doing low-risk activities outside to build your confidence.
My parents are also really worried. Talk about it and do it together at first.
Let’s start with a small pouch. Let’s go to the park or library.
And of course, as usual, one person was a little smarter.
You go out with a group and accidentally disappear.
No matter which path you take, I think there are good things on both sides. First, it’s important to look at things from the parent’s perspective. Parents are older, slower to act, and far behind in their parenting time. Perhaps this is a little scary for them. But also, one can learn. Your parents raised you and your siblings, so with a little practice you should be able to take your child outside at least a little.
— Scary Mom
Have a situation you don’t know how to solve? ask scary mom To get answers from my biological parents who were there.
If you can’t figure it out after reading this article, we’re not doctors or lawyers. Please do not interpret the above information as legal or medical advice. In that case, please consult a specialist.
