In my years of parenting, there are common themes I’ve seen among male/female parents. A baby is born to a healthy mother and a healthy father. The mother (if she’s lucky) gets eight weeks of maternity leave, and the father (if she’s lucky) gets two weeks. In the first weeks of a baby’s life, the mother is learning how to do everything. Because only mothers can do anything. When my dad comes home from work, he comes over to help me…but he doesn’t have much time to learn, so when things get tough, my mom takes over. time I’m learning the best way to get my baby to stop crying (and OMG just stop crying). It’s useful as a short-term strategy. However, in the long run, most men are not prepared to take the lead in raising children, which can lead to less fulfilling fatherhood and strained relationships with overworked partners.
So how should men improve their status as fathers? A quick tip posted by TikTok creator and dadfluencer Ricky Bee (@rickyxbee) is very, very simple.
“Nothing grows you as a father more than just being solo,” he says. “The grocery store, one person in a carrier, one person in a cart, a toddler, a baby. Even when I only had one baby! Just being alone. Rachel isn’t there to save me. … Yes, this takes time, sure it’s hard … but nothing makes me a better father. Nothing builds character more than this. Nothing gives me the secret sauce more than going out and doing this myself, brother.”
In addition to forcing one’s growth as a parent, the solitary situation has other benefits for the men of the world. “There’s nothing that honors her more than to go out and do the same things that the women in our lives are doing.”
Ricky (rightly so) emphasizes the fact that what he does is not unique or special. “Glory to my daughter, she does this all the time,” he says. But the point remains the same. used For those parenting alone, doing so is a great way to up your game.
Commenters were quick to point out the benefits of fathers taking the time to learn how to parent without the training wheels of a female partner.
“Women are not inherently better parents,” one person wrote. “It’s just that we have no choice but to figure it out from the beginning, and many men never take the chance to figure it out. To learn how to do it better, we have to be active in our parenting.”
Amen.
“100%,” agreed another. “So many fathers are too scared and too spoiled to spend time alone with their children. It’s not easy, but it definitely makes you grow as a father.”
“The best thing ever was that my husband took paternity leave and was home alone with our 2-month-old son two days a week!” a third shared. “It’s what’s best for both of us.”
Others were not experiencing this themselves, but were saddened and encouraged to varying degrees.
“My partner would never do that,” was the reply. “What a blessing to have a father to take the kids with me. My husband can’t even get her to take a nap. I’m what the young people call a cook.”
“As a SAHM, I needed to hear this. I get a lot of anxiety when my dad takes him out on his own, but I need to leave it at that so he can experience it,” another man admits.
This strategy may literally be an adjustment for everyone involved. But like all things, the best way to improve and learn is to get out there and do it.
