We teach our children all kinds of things. How to tie shoelaces. How to ride a bicycle. How to say “please” and “thank you”. How to swim. Parenting is an endless loop of lessons, many of them practical, some even silly. But then there are big things that literally shape the people of our children. We teach people to treat people with dignity and respect. We teach our children that everyone’s story matters. And when we send our children to school, we hope that those lessons will be further reinforced in the classroom.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
the teacher does soof course. We love and appreciate them. But in today’s climate, many also operate within rapidly shrinking boundaries: censored reading lists, sanitized curricula, and policies that seek to strip schools of the diversity that reflects the world in which children live.
So if our schools are no longer able or allowed to teach the full story, we as parents must do so. To help us become the co-educators our children deserve, Scary Mommy reached out to experts for practical advice and insight.
The curriculum is shrinking and kids are feeling it.
In many ways, children are losing access to diversity and inclusion in the classroom. This systematic erasure is being carried out through anti-DEI policies, including the banning of more than 10,000 books in public schools. This includes books by authors of color, LGBTQ+ authors, and women, as well as books that critically center race, gender identity, and immigration throughout history.
This means that even if educators want to teach inclusively, they are often limited by school district policies or new laws. And that leaves huge gaps that shape how children see the world and each other.
PEN America’s list of banned books for 2025 alone includes cult favorites for adults such as: the perks of being a wallflower Written by Stephen Chbosky kite runner In addition to works by Khaled Hosseini, the color purple Written by Alice Walker.
“We are seeing systemic attempts to limit access to history, identity, and difference,” acknowledges Erica Dadcetan, executive director of Visions, a company focused on strengthening cross-cultural connections and increasing inclusivity. “These efforts not only limit what is taught, but also distort young people’s understanding of the world and who belongs in it. The erasure of diverse stories creates fear and division rather than empathy and truth.”
In reality, expressive activities should not be seen as a “bonus,” according to Dadsetan. basic. “When children are told that their families, cultures, and identities are not represented, or that those aspects are controversial or inappropriate, the harm is profound,” she says.
“Children learn not only from what we say, but also from what we avoid. When race, homosexuality, disability and difference are censored, it teaches shame. We are seeing greater mental strain, with higher rates of anxiety, internalized bias and even disengagement from school. And when diversity is embraced, we produce young people who are more resilient, connected and critically engaged.”
Marlia Mozaffar, a legislative lawyer, mother, and expert on policy and cultural dehumanization, agrees that children benefit most from classroom education when it includes accurate world history and a reflection of the world’s diversity.
“A curriculum specifically designed to open dialogue about important points in world history teaches humility and an appreciation of nuance. In a world where revisionist history is so readily available, it’s important to focus on fact-based world history,” Mozaffar tells Scary Mommy. “You’d be surprised how little the average child in our country knows about the world, geography and history. This is a great disgrace to the next generation.”
One of the many benefits that children gain from receiving an education that embraces diversity (both in curriculum and environment) is a sense of security.
“Raising children to see the world as beautiful and as valuable in its diversity is an important responsibility. Taking on that task is of great value to each child’s self-esteem, knowing that the world and its people are there to discover and learn from it.” It gives children a place in their world,” Mozaffar said, adding that in a subtle way, “it also addresses racism, colonialism and confederacy at an elementary stage that allows children to awaken to the beauty of the world.” Not only people, but also the harm that some people cause due to their ignorance. ”
And kids are smart, right? They realize that something is missing. When schools are silent, the message that being different is dangerous or shameful gets louder.
Raising inclusive children starts at home
The good news is that as parents we can bridge that gap. These conversations happen while shopping at Costco, in the car, or at the dinner table.
Dadcetan says it can be as simple as organizing open-ended learning (“choose books, shows, and stories that center a variety of voices, including race, gender, ability, language, etc.”), talking to kids about censorship and other difficult topics (“when we talk honestly and carefully, kids are better equipped to deal with difficult topics”), and modeling what it means to belong.
Mozaffar emphasizes that the modeling part is very important, pointing out that discrimination and prejudice are not inherent in human nature, but that these behaviors are models that are learned and cultivated. “Many of us don’t realize how much our children pay attention to the conversations around them, and how many social behaviors they perceive to be acceptable because their loved ones are practicing them,” she shares.
That’s why real-world role models from parents are invaluable. “Building relationships with family members who are different from your own, trying new cuisines, watching foreign family shows on Netflix, reading books by international authors, and traveling abroad if possible, or visiting the diverse communities around you if not, can have a big impact,” Mozaffar reminds us. “You are the best role model for your child.”
Dadsetan also recommends protecting teachers while putting pressure on the system. “Attending school board meetings, advocating for inclusive curriculum, and forming alliances with other families without scapegoating potentially constrained educators.”
Alecia Dunham Carson, associate director of teaching and learning at the progressive independent Gordon School in East Providence, Rhode Island, reinforces the idea that parent involvement and a voice can support inclusive learning both inside and outside the classroom.
“As an education professional, I can tell you that parent voices are very influential in schools. Be yourself and speak from what you know. School board meetings, back-to-school nights, town meetings, these are places where you are present and visible,” she says. “If you can tell the story of your family and your child and explain what you want for your child in an honest and clear way, you are doing a great service to the teacher in your child’s life.”
At home, she says, children need a sense of security.
“It’s important for your children to know that they are safe. They need to hear that you have their back. They need to know that you will always advocate for a world where no one can stop them from loving the people they love, admiring the people they admire, and dreaming of ways to make the world a better place. They should have the opportunity to witness that this is not just the experience we want for them, but for everyone.”
And when it comes to bearing witness, it’s also important for parents to remember that children today see and hear too often of heartbreaking violations of inclusion.
Dunham-Carson says, “Families face real risks related to identity: deportation of loved ones, threats to medical care for those who need it, ruined marriages and loving relationships, loss of jobs due to legal status, and more. Among family members, friends, and schoolmates, your child will likely know someone who is under these threats.”
So now more than ever, our children need (a) to be made aware of the tensions that may exist in schools, churches, and playgrounds, and (b) to be seen standing up for what we believe in, “even if it’s something as simple as a sign in the window or a sticker on the car.”
Inclusion is multilingual
Another way to strengthen diversity in your home is through language. This is an often overlooked aspect of raising internationally minded, inclusive children. Doing so expands the conversation beyond race and even gender to include cultural literacy.
Babbel language teacher and cultural expert Esteban Touma explains why language is a powerful tool for developing empathy and cultural understanding in children.
“Language learning, by design, puts you in the shoes of others, whether they speak the language fluently or are just starting to learn their own language. It fosters humility, curiosity, and connection,” says Thoma. “Language has always been one of humanity’s oldest and strongest connections. The effort to learn and speak another language, however imperfect, is a sign of respect and deepens mutual understanding in a way that few others can.”
Touma points out that we also live in a new era where global pop culture shapes the way children interact with the world. “From the rise of Bad Bunny to the global popularity of K-pop and manga, foreign language entertainment is driving interest and motivation,” he says. “Children aren’t just learning a language for the sake of grade. They’re learning a language to connect with the stories, music, and culture they love. And that emotional connection often sparks true empathy and cultural appreciation.”
Thus, language education, or rather the lack of language education, contributes to the broader problem of cultural erasure in American schools.
“Of course, the most widely spoken language in the United States is English, but approximately 68 million people speak a language other than English at home. If a language is not included in the school curriculum, the only way for a child to learn a new language is almost certainly if it is already spoken at home or by attending a private school,” Touma says.
By not prioritizing language learning, he emphasizes, “we are missing out on a huge opportunity to help our children grow up to be more open-minded, empathetic and internationally minded.”
The lessons will live with us.
The importance of teaching children about diversity and providing an environment that emphasizes it can get lost in the murky waters of broader debates about ‘buzzwords’ and ‘agendas’ and political shifts. That’s why parents have a responsibility to hold the through line. After all, there’s a lot to lose here.
“Erasing differences does not create safety, it creates silence,” Dadsetan laments. “Silence harms LGBTQ+ children, BIPOC students, children with disabilities, and children who are learning to understand their own identities. What’s really at stake is belonging, and that’s what children need most to thrive.”
Mozaffar emphasizes that this is why the role of parents is so important.
“Perhaps the greatest value we can teach our children to understand diversity is empathy. We are the same in many ways, but we are definitely different. Beauty lies in the ability to put ourselves in another person’s shoes and connect by understanding common values. Understanding how we feel creates connections and expands our humanity,” she says. “Teaching children this early on will help them always analyze conflict and diversity from a human perspective, and free them from being susceptible to the false narratives that divide us.”
After all, our kids may not remember all the facts and formulas they learn in third grade. What they remember are the values we taught them around the dinner table, in the car, and through the actions we reflected for them. Diversity is not a trend, nor should it be an “option” in the classroom. That should be the standard.
