Preparing to be a second-time parent and add another child to your family is an exciting, emotional time. You’re probably thrilled to watch your firstborn become a big sibling and finally meet the new baby.
“My first born was SO excited to be a big brother,” says What to Expect Community parent mombee42. “I think he was lonely being the only child. He absolutely adores his little sister. She also loves him back and laughs the most when playing with him.”
But it’s also normal to feel nervous, whether you’re anxious about how your family dynamic will change or stressed about navigating child care.
While it may be challenging to prepare for these big changes to come, you’re not alone. Lots of other parents have experienced the same feelings and have plenty of advice to share about adding a second little one to your family.
Here are 23 tips on growing your family from second-time parents in the What to Expect Community who’ve been there.
You’ve got this! You’re not alone — so many second-time parents have also felt nervous and excited about baby number two.Get your firstborn on board. If your older tot is involved early (handing you a burp cloth, giving a gift to the baby), he’ll feel proud in his new role as the big sibling. It gets easier. The hard parts are temporary, but the love that’ll come when your kids start to bond makes it worth the long days and sleepless nights.
23 tips from second-time parents
1. Share the news with your firstborn whenever you’re ready. “My child just turned 5 … (my partner) actually showed her the ultrasound video with the heartbeat at around 9 weeks. Despite all my worries that he told her too quickly, she was happy and understood that there will be another person in the mix. She understands now when Mommy needs to rest, and why not to jump on me so much anymore. She’s old enough now to help out, so we constantly encourage what a ‘big girl’ she is and what a great ‘big sister’ she will be. We think of names, and what she will do for and with the baby.” — Trieulyhappy
2. Try to get your eldest excited about his new role. “I’m about to have my second child and my first is very attached to me. He’s just very jealous when other kids hug me. I bought him a gift from ‘his new baby’ and I keep saying things like ‘your baby’ so he’s super excited for his baby to be born … I’m trying to constantly remind him of how cute it’s going to be and he’s going to be a big brother.” — babicakes
3. Know that the extra work of raising multiple children will be worth it. “My first two boys are 20 months apart. It was hard, but I am SO glad we did it. They really are BEST friends!” — cbechard
4. Trust yourself. “You’ll figure out ways to streamline your life … and having one made me a great multi-tasker, so I just use those skills now.” — anardi
5. Reuse an older sibling’s bottles. “Buy new (bottle) nipples. I will sterilize (bottles) before using them with the new baby, but I think that will be it. I’m trying to (re)use as (much) stuff as possible to save some money!” — Eva2nd
Get real-life advice from veteran parents in the What to Expect app, where you’ll also find expert tips and guidance that’ll support you as your family grows.
6. Consider all your child care options. “We have an au pair come … as that’s cheaper than day care for two by more than $100 a week.” — ajd4112
7. Remember that it’s okay for siblings to share a room once baby number two is old enough. “Go for it. It could be a nice bonding experience, and it’ll probably end up being easier for you too.” — MonkeyToes11
8. Consider a baby sprinkle or sip and see. “A friend of mine did a ‘sip and see’ after her baby was born. Everyone got to meet the baby and most brought diapers, wipes, etc. Most people didn’t feel obligated but knew diapers and wipes were what she needed most.” — BabyBmakesus3
9. If possible, tackle toddler transitions early. “I wanted to ease my stress before the newborn came, so I started attacking the big issues that would require 100% of my attention. I transitioned my toddler from the crib to a ‘big bed,’ and we did potty training.” — bebi311
10. Emotionally prepare for labor — and remember that you’ve got this. “All labors and deliveries are different. What I told myself the second time was this: No matter how long or hard this is, my body knows what to do. My body has done this before, and I know I can do it again.” — ColeyBoo22
11. Use a baby carrier with your newborn. “The biggest thing was safety for the new baby, because my son was jealous and would be all over her in a split second. My Ergobaby (carrier) has been my lifesaver! I used it a handful of times the first time around, and this time I’ve used it almost every day! Every (shopping) trip: toddler in the cart, baby in the Ergo.” — baby1lt
12. Include the kids in your workout routine. “I have started doing things with the kids instead of going to the gym. I have some therapy exercises I do for my shoulder, and my 2- and 3-year-olds have their own ‘exercise balls’ that we all balance on and exercise. We also do Pilates or yoga videos on occasion. I’m still not great at doing it regularly, but they have fun exercising with Mommy, and I don’t miss out on time with them.” — princesseryn
13. Store your firstborn’s old clothes away for your baby-to-be. “Wash, fold, (and put old clothes) into large vacuum seal bags and then into a plastic bin. Takes up less space. Also, put a label inside the bag prior to vacuum sealing with the sizing of clothes that are in the bag.” — Mama-Cindy
14. Streamline for less clutter. “What’s helped me is minimizing and getting rid of stuff … (there’s) less stuff to put away! I have a 6-year-old and a 23-month-old. The 6-year-old is also expected to clean up after herself.” — pocketfullofposies
15. Focus on the positives. “I love the aspect of no matter what, they always have a sibling to get through things with. They have a sibling to help calm them when we may be going crazy. I love the fact that my son is going to be an amazing big brother! I get more excited that I’m able to give him a sibling than worried about a change of attention.” — HayleyBop22
16. Try not to be hard on yourself. “I know the guilty feeling regarding attention, but I remind myself that it’s probably not best for my son in the long run to have all my attention, all the time. Plus, he’ll have a built-in best friend!” — kristensm
17. Let your eldest child hear you prioritizing him. “Let the older one hear you say to the baby things like, ‘Just a second (new baby), I’ll be with you in a minute; I’m helping (first kid) right now.'” — cranterp
18. Remember that hard times will pass. “Just remember to make special time, remind (your oldest) that she is doing a great job being a big sister, and apologize on the rough days when it seems overwhelming. My girls love each other and hate each other and love each other again within the span of five minutes, and it’s been that way since we brought little sister home. It’s not bad; you’ll find a way to make it work.” — thedispatcher
19. Don’t forget the benefits for your firstborn. “You are giving her a lifelong best friend! You can still do everything you used to do one-on-one with your daughter: read books at night, give her a bath. Just put the baby down. I actually looked forward to my first daughter having to learn to share with me, and all the kids that followed had to learn too. It grows their character.” — akosuakate
20. Focus on the future. “(I try to) remind myself that it will be a tough few years, but our kids have their whole lives to be close in age and have similar interests. Hopefully they will be great friends.” — aprilmamaof2
21. Prioritize one-on-one time with each child. “I made a point of taking turns with my kids — just because the newborn was crying, it didn’t mean I immediately went to them, especially if my firstborn was hugging me or needed something. He needed to know that the crying baby didn’t make his needs moot. And when I did go to the baby, it was the baby’s turn.” — duckfeet
22. Have confidence: You’ve got this! “It’s easier emotionally, because I can handle the hormone changes easier or just don’t have time to overthink. Physically it’s harder because I have a 2-year-old. But in general it’s easier and less stressful, since I now know what to spend my energy, time, and money on.” — maryjoan63
23. Get excited for all the love to come. “It will melt your heart to see your children love each other.” — duckfeet
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